Thursday, July 05, 2007

Act 5, Scene 6: “Lost”


TRL wakes up, looks around and doesn’t know where he is. He is in a bed, but doesn’t know where. It is dark. Where is he?

He starts sweating and panicking. He lunges for a window and lifts the blinds. He still doesn’t know where he is. He sees another window and opens the blinds. It is dark outside. He is in a room. He grunts, terrified. He can’t seem to wake up, and he still is lost.

S opens her eyes. “What are you doing?”

TRL stumbles for a door, goes out into a hall. But what hall? He moves into a bathroom and flips on the light. He sees himself in a mirror. He is covered in sweat. He knows that it is himself staring back. But where is he?

In his bathroom, he slowly realizes. But then the realization flickers away and he panics again.

In his bathroom, he comes to realize once more. This time the understanding stays. He sweats profusely. He is shaking. What is wrong with him? Is this how someone with Alzheimer’s feels?

S walks in to go to the bathroom. “Are you OK?”

TRL grunts, now embarrassed that he was so confused. He feels vulnerable and frightened.

S goes back into their bedroom and TRL throws water onto his face. This was the first night back in their house since coming back from five days at the beach. It must have confused him, he tells himself. And while they were away, they had an offer on their house; they were moving. And the next day he had a job interview, an attempt to set his career straight.

All in all, TRL feels lost.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe what you are feeling is the onset of some sense of order in your life. This is a new sensation for you. All this change may be good cause it will result in some stability...something you long for. So while you think what you are feeling is panic, it may really be calmness - you just don't know it. What you really need is a few days away from C,E and S - say to the country with a friend to help put it all in perspective. Try it, you may like it.

9:29 AM  
Blogger trl said...

Wise words. Fear of happiness. You know my shrink?

Time in the woods (aka hotel room, bbq near, cool beverages) does sound restful. Ya mon.

11:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Restful indeed and well deserved, I'd say. Years overdue.

8:18 AM  

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