Act 2, Scene 35: “Mommy Is Refreshing with Zero Calories”

TRL is making dinner, an event not unlike a diner which suddenly gets swamped with a big group. In this case, the big group is two 22-pound demanding customers.

More, more, calls out C.

More what? replies TRL as he microwaves broccoli, cools the macaroni and cheese, puts peanut butter on toast, cooks steak in the broiler and honors the free refills policy by keeping apple cider in C and E’s cups.

More, answers C and points at the counter, where a thousand ingredients crowd the small space.

Finally, after a process of elimination, TRL comes to the rice cakes. These? he asks.

Yes!

Great, mutters TRL, relieved.

He delivers the rice cakes, pronouncing it for C and E in the hopes that they will adopt language rather than pointing to tell him what they want. He tops off their cups and then reaches for the hundredth dish he has used this evening.

Mommmmaaama, E happily calls out in his sing-song little voice. Mommmmmaa.

Momma? Wonders TRL. In the cabinet?

But then he sees it. A lone Diet Coke can sits at the top. And S is a Diet Coke junkie.

TRL pulls down the can.

Momma? He asks E.

Mommmaaa, calls out E and gives a big smile. Mommmmmaa!

Life for a 21 month-old is pure association, a Freudian psychoanalyst’s dream. And in this family, Momma is a can of Diet Coke.