Act 2, Scene 20: “Househusband Freed! Temporarily. Destination: Barcelona”

TRL and S venture overseas for their first vacation in years. Escape from the kids, escape from the burbs, escape from their jobs. Escape!

TRL and S’s parents provide childcare for C and E, who are already well acquainted with their grandparents. It’s a win-win-win for all. C and E get total attention, grandparents get the joy of hanging with the newest generation, and TRL and S get some sleep and adventure in beautiful Barcelona. The house is perhaps the only possible loser in all this. And the lawn. TRL will not be around to take care of things. But something has to give.

TRL calls up the pediatrician to check that no long-term mental damage - abandonment issues - will be experienced by C & E. For TRL remembers, or at least remembers the story, of when he was first left with his grandparents as a two year-old so his parents could take their first no-TRL vacation. TRL refused to greet them when they came home, instead holding on to grandma’s leg in a big Fuck You to his parents. TRL is still not sure if 13 years of analysis has dislodged this trauma. And he doesn’t want it repeated with his sons.

But the nurse practitioner, not an MD, granted, but someone with experience, says Go Go Go. Apparently, little kids don’t have a real good lock on the concept of time (S would argue that this applies to TRL as well): one day away and one week are experienced as similar things for the little ones. So away they go.

After a lovely flight (it was delayed, but so what: TRL and S were free of responsibility, no children to watch. So it was all good. Lots of reading, some movies, some sleep. A little minivacation on the way to the vacation), TRL and S take a train to mountains outside Barcelona. They stay in a near-empty mountain inn, sleeping late, taking long hikes, eating leisurely meals, sipping beer and eating olives on the terrace as they kick back, read, and do nothing. Sweet, sweet nothing.

TRL and S then head into Barcelona for tapas, wine, prowling the winding stone streets at midnight (jet lag is a real help in embracing the late-night party atmosphere), trips to Gaudi architecture, and most importantly, long meals, lots of sleep, and complete and utter leisure. Sure, TRL thought about C & E. But it was nice to mostly think just about where the next restaurant would be, what type of tapas to order, and which street to turn down.

At some point, reembracing city living (No car! No grounds upkeep! No plumbing/heating responsibilities! No problems!), TRL did think about all the time he had put into his lawn. The watering, pruning of bushes, arranging (and paying) to have it mowed, thinking about getting trees cut down. And also dealing with the garbage every Monday night, wheeling the huge plastic garbage can down to the curb, throwing his body over the top of the can at 11 at night to tamp down all the garbage bags so they wouldn’t be charged extra for additional bags poking over the top. And chasing down and dealing with the crazy schedule of the electrician to get lights installed and electrical upgrades made ($$$). And the plumber and oil man to make sure the house continued to function. TRL’s conclusion: they need a super. Someone to deal with all of it for him.

It was a time/value issue in his judgment. Less time dealing with the lawn and house upkeep means more time to make money and doing things he would rather be doing. He would be leveraging the services of a super to get ahead in his career and spend more time with his family. TRL concludes he needs a Suburban Super.

Someone to call when the heat went off, when the lights flickered, when they needed a new refrigerator.

Someone to make sure the lawn was perfect, the house leak proof, the trees around it safe.

TRL supposes this is what the rich would call a caretaker. But he and S were not rich. So he wanted what apartments in the city had. Someone to deal with lots of families. There were certainly a lot of families in SB. Did other families feel the same way? Was there someone who would be their super?