Act 2, Scene 19: "Terrible Twos"

TRL goes downstairs into the kitchen. He says hi to the nanny, who is chasing after E.

C is crayoning the floor.

No, C, no, says TRL, and puts newspaper under him so he can express himself without redoing the color scheme of the kitchen.

Later, though, TRL comes down and C is using the refrigerator as a giant coloring book. TRL rubs and rubs but the crayon won’t come off. Now he and S have a Jackson Pollock Signature Frig.

In the middle of the day, TRL realizes he hasn’t gotten any phone calls. He grabs the receiver and there is no dial tone. He goes into the kitchen and sees that the line has been pulled out of the socket. Later, when he is with the boys for the afternoon, he watches as E grabs the phone line (not easy as TRL had tucked it out of the way) and yanks. Mystery solved.

C, don’t jump on the recliner, says TRL. C, sit down when you’re on the chair.

A puzzle piece whizzes past TRL’s ear. He turns towards the origin of the trajectory: E smiles and begins to jump up and down and screeches like a very happy monkey.

The boys are only 20 months old. TRL realizes the terrible twos, in this case, refer to the number of sons as opposed to any particular age. And they will only get stronger and faster, he recognizes.

TRL pulls a Red Bull from the refrigerator and vows to start doing sit ups and push ups. He needs to stay one step ahead of them.