Act 2, Scene 10: "Suburban Swag"

Saturday morning, TRL is out on the front lawn raking up clippings from trimming the bushes against the house. He hadn’t noticed they were, well, bushy, until N across the street mentioned that he had just cut his bushes with his brand new deluxe power cuter, and then his wife S put in: Looks like your bushes could use a trim.

Suppressing the obvious juvenile comeback, TRL merely nodded.

So the next day, TRL walks out the door in the morning to salvage his reputation in the neighborhood, thinking it was a 20 minute job. The boys are having breakfast, S is reading the paper.

An hour later, while raking up the last of the clippings, he spies next door neighbor R marching towards him. This was unusual.

Hi.

Hi, responds R.

When do you move? TRL asks.

Two weeks from yesterday.

Soon, says TRL. Ah, do you know when the new people are moving in?

End of the month, replies R.

They have kids?

Don’t know.

Do you know what they do?

Blackbox. Never met them. The realtors kept us away. Don’t know if they were amplifying or distorting any information.

Ahah, TRL nods, remembering the day the ugly-ass Dodge Magnum stationwagon had pulled in front of R’s house, the buyer exiting the car and surveying the house.

Do you want a trundle bed? asks R.

What is that?

It’s a double bed, one on top of the other.

Oh. Sure, says TRL, thinking it could go in the basement for guests.

Great. I’ll bring it over. Interested in a snow blower? I’m selling it.

TRL wipes his arm across his forehead to remove the sweat. It was 80 degrees. Who wants to think about snow? But still.

How much? he asks.

I got it new for $1200. I’m selling it for $500.

Wow. Ah, I’ll wait. Maybe it will be a dry winter.

R gives a laugh indicating he knows better, and leaves to get the trundle bed. TRL follows to help.

The trundle bed in the garage, TRL finishes raking and heads inside, finally.

Twenty minutes? S says.

It took a bit longer. We have a trundle bed.

What?

R gave it to us. It’s in the garage. We can put it in the basement. For guests.

That’s great, S says.

A knock on the door. It is R holding a lantern looking thing.

You guys want this bug zapper? he asks.

What does it do? S asks. But TRL quickly reaches for it.

Yes, thank you, we’d love it.

It kills bugs, TRL explains to S as he embraces the free bug executioner.

Infrared, adds R. Drops em without a sound and they fall straight down.

Excellent, says TRL, relishing his new weapon against Nature.