Letting Go... continued

What Would Doctor Phil Say?
I don’t know, my parents don’t let me watch TV. But that bald teddy bear-like father figure would no doubt have kind words to say laced with the harsh notes of reality. “He is no good for you, there is no future with him, there are other furry creature soul mates out there for you, addiction and a one-sided conversation is not the basis for a healthy relationship.” Well, Dr. P, sure, but do you remember what it’s like to love the love of a two-year old? To make the best friend you could imagine and then find out he is two timing and three timing and what ever number comes after that timing on you? It hurts to the quick, doctor.

Elmo is a Whore
It’s true. At first, there was me and Elmo. We would play for hours. He would always be there for me, ready to talk after my nap, back from day care, after dinner and before breakfast. But at the playgroup at my house he started flirting with Sally, the trollop from down the street. And Becky from my Music and Me class. And that slut Cynthia. And even Bobby, Max and Chris. It seems that Elmo liked to talk to everyone, to gesticulate and wiggle and act like the slut that he is. Not a fun lesson, but one that I was willing to overlook, if only it had ended there.