Act 3, Scene 12: “End of Innocence”

How do we know we like something unless we try it? The only way to judge if something works is to try it yourself. Chefs know this as they experiment with the ratios and ingredients of a new dish, artists understand this as they try different mediums and style in pursuit of something they can call their own, and E knows this. In fact, perhaps E knows this better than anyone. He is willing to sample everything life offers because he has no preconceptions of what things he should and should not like, or even what maybe he should take on faith as not working. With experience comes the ability to guess at wrong combinations. Any chef worth his salt would instinctively understand that putting a big scoop of chopped liver on top of vanilla ice cream is a no-no. And even the most brash experimentalist who might just try this out of curiosity would forgo a fish sauce to top it off. With a loss of innocence – the unmitigated enthusiasm to try literally anything – comes also the wisdom to avoid mistakes as well as the knowledge to focus on potentially successful ideas. You leave the Garden of Eden, but at least you have learned to avoid snakes.

E lost his innocence. And it is TRL’s fault.

E lies on the changing pad, feet in the air, his monumentally messy poo in the process of being cleaned up. TRL tosses a wipe in the garbage bag when he sees E do a fast swipe of his hand into his bottom. And just as fast the hand enters the mouth. Things then move in slow motion for TRL. He sees the little hand with the brown smudge perched at the entrance to the open mouth. And he screams “Nooo” while lunging for the hand. TRL grabs it and extracts it before the brown makes contact with the soft pink insides. E stares at TRL, wide-eyed and confused and scared. The pause, and then E starts crying, tears pouring down his cheeks.

It’s OK, says TRL, but you can’t eat your poo. It’s not good for you.

He then whisks E to the sink and washes his hands thoroughly with soap and water, and for good measure flushes his mouth with water.

You didn’t need to wash him down so forcefully, exclaims S after watching and then hearing what happened. He didn’t get any in his mouth. He was just trying something new.

Generally speaking, eating poo is bad, says TRL. Feces is bad for you. E coli.

But he would have learned this on his on, retorts S.

TRL shakes with disgust. He answers: It was a visceral reaction to watching him scoop his ass and about to chomp down on his poo. I never ate my crap, he adds, making a mental note never to ask his parents if this was true.