Act 3, Scene 2: “How I Learned to be Happy or All I Really Need To Know I Learned from My Two-year-old Twins”

1. Bored in life? Make like C&E in their crib: Take off your clothes and bounce, bounce, bounce.

2. Love something so much you just don’t know how to channel your emotions? Make like C with his beloved Maisy book: rip it up and scatter it about (use actual or metaphorical tearing, depending upon the object of your intense emotion).

3. Then piss on it. Just like C from his crib onto the floor strewn with Maisy bits. And then like E, have a friend join in. Because, let’s face it, urinating rarely is the wrong thing to do, and almost always results in relief if not outright pleasure.

4. Cheerfully take responsibility for your actions. Did I rip that up and piss on it? Why yes, I did, Daddy! Smile, smile, smile and bounce up and down. It’s good to take ownership and feel good about your actions.