Act 6, Scene 2: “Crappy Copper”

C or E is turning the toilets into Trevi Fountain.

TRL saw his toilet do something he has never seen a toilet do before: it bubbled. First, it clogged. But then it actually bubbled, large spheres of air rising from the depths like an office water cooler.

And when TRL was finished plunging, he saw in the finally clear bottom something brown and shiny. Normally not one to go after such things in a toilet, he knew what this was; the second copper penny settled onto the porcelain this week.

The main suspect was E, who had a coin obsession at the moment. Though maybe it was his brother taking away E’s treasure. C had been loudly and wildly jealous when E happened upon a penny at the Star Market the previous evening.

TRL tosses the penny in the garbage can: a penny saved is a penny earned, but this toilet penny was earned the hard way and now had to be set free least it spread some intestinal bacteria.

Act 6, Scene 1: “Remembrance of Things Past”

TRL emails his old neighbor, the one across the street, the only one in the entire neighborhood with whom he had actually struck up a relationship. And the neighbor reports:

“The new neighbors are nice.”

TRL believes this is code for “boring.”

“They spend a ton of time outside with their kids and seem to have befriended the neighbors next to them with kids.”

TRL knows the next-door neighbors. Boring. So boring plus boring.

“They have a pool table”

No doubt for the basement, which they will call the rec room, decides TRL. The suburban cliché has resettled the house.

“and what seems like a lot of stuff...they had delivery pods in the driveway for a couple weeks.”

Over-materialized. And slow to stuff their house. The equivalent of shoving food down a goose to fatten its liver.

TRL grins in his fourth-floor brownstone home office, the sound of the T’s wheels braking below, and cars’ rubber eating the road. He feels like he just escaped the Turkish prison in Midnight Express.

Desperately Seeking Childcare

The fastest route to child care
Variation on speed dating hooks up parents and sitters in minutes
By Ken Wilan, Globe Correspondent | October 6, 2007, The Boston Globe

(http://www.boston.com/yourlife/family/articles/2007/10/05/the_fastest_route_to_child_care/)

Lauren Kavanaugh, an attorney at Liberty Mutual in Boston, was out of the office and on a mission.

Kavanaugh, 38, had told colleagues, "I'm at a meeting." But what she was really doing at Red Sky Restaurant near Quincy Market, far from her Back Bay office, was meeting at five-minute intervals with a host of mostly younger women, getting to know them as quickly as possible to decide if she would call them later.

"I've had a very difficult time finding baby sitters," said Kavanaugh, who has a 1-year-old son. "It's a huge time suck, and my husband and I work full time."

So Kavanaugh joined 30 other parents and 40 baby sitters in a "Speedsitting" session, where a parent interviews a sitter for five minutes before moving on to the next sitter. The line of sitters and parents stretched along opposite sides of pushed-together tables running the length of the restaurant. During lunch hour, these parents, many with notepads in hand, grilled sitters and took names.

"What is the thing we can't supply parents right now?" asked Genevieve Thiers, CEO and founder of Sittercity .com, an online company that matches parents with baby sitters and was sponsoring the event. "We couldn't supply parents with face-to-face interaction." Speedsitting, she said, is "basically a speed date, but for parents and baby sitters."

Natalia Sarkisian, assistant professor of sociology at Boston College, said it should come as no surprise that such events are taking place. "Speed dating has created a fad - now it is speed-everything," she said.

The number of couples that both work and put a child in child care at an early age is increasing, said Fred Rothbaum, professor of child development at Tufts University and president of the Child & Family WebGuide, which screens parenting resources. The Speedsitting concept, Rothbaum said, is a natural extension of the Internet-fueled trend to deliver more information and goods faster.

"Given the time crunch, parents, and especially mothers, are trying to find top-quality child care and are trying to be more efficient and maximize their options. Parents want to survey as many child-care providers as possible to say, 'I have done my best,' " said Sarkisian. Speedsitting combines technology - the baby sitters are already registered on the sitter city.com database - with the no-tech approach.

"The benefit is face-to-face contact," said Anna Nivala, 31, of Somerville, holding 11-month-old Evie. "It's a first impression, and how do they look at my daughter?" Evie offered up bright smiles to just about everyone in the restaurant - baby sitters, bartenders, and a reporter included.

As the caregivers sipped baby-girl-pink nonalcoholic cocktails topped off with an orange wedge, parents shifted seats in five-minute spurts recalling musical chairs, in this case not wanting to be left out of finding the perfect sitter. Though there were more sitters than parents, competition for the best of the bunch can be stiff.

"It's supply and demand; there's more people looking for child care," and not necessarily a proportional rise in accessible child care out there, said Rothbaum.

"Once you find a good baby sitter, they're a very prized possession," said Scott Shannon, 48, who with his wife, Anne, was looking for a sitter for their 4-year-old son, Shane. "People don't share sitters, they don't want to lose them." And, he reasoned, the sitters at the event were the cream of the crop. Online, he said, sitters "don't always respond, or respond and say 'not interested.' Here, candidates are more mature and a lot more serious about being sitters or nannies. They're taking time out in their day" to be here.

The Shannons, of Dedham, were looking for a sitter because Scott was returning to the workforce as a construction project manager.

"He's currently a stay-at-home mom," said Anne, 45, who had taken the day off from work as director of energy programs at Quincy Community Action Programs to search for a sitter.

"Dad," Scott corrected.

Shannon was one of two fathers in a sea of mothers. The other was Malay Kundu, founder of StopLift Vision Systems in Bedford. He and his wife, who also works full time and had a full day of meetings, have a 4-year-old son and an 8-month-old daughter.

"With my long hours, I certainly contribute to the need for baby sitters," Kundu said.

Did it make him feel awkward that he was one of the few men at the event?

"I don't really care, I just need to get a baby sitter," he replied, echoing the sentiment of most parents at the event. He then darted to an empty seat across from a sitter to begin his next interview before he had to get back to work.

© Copyright 2007 The New York Times Company



How to select a caregiver
The Boston Globe, October 6, 2007
(http://www.boston.com/news/globe/living/articles/2007/10/06/how_to_select_a_caregiver/)

Speedsitting may be "good as a quick screening procedure, but you shouldn't hire someone on the spot based on five minutes," said Thierry Guedj, professor of psychology with a focus on work-life issues at Boston University. After the initial screen, invite a sitter to your house for at least an hour interview with both parents and the child, said Guedj.

Here are interviewing tips from Guedj:

During an interview, observe how a baby sitter or nanny watches your children. Some nannies are more concerned with days off than interacting with your child.
Listen for tone of voice, see how she reacts to your child: Is she reactive or nurturing? "Some are quick to raise their voice or quick to anger, or someone may be completely passive and don't see themselves as having a role in child care. You need somebody assertive and nurturing. Somebody who can help explain to your child what good behavior is. A good nanny, like a good parent, is able to reason with a child, explain things."
Don't worry so much about the caregiver's education. "I am skeptical about whether degrees are a good thing. Basic nurturing of children has less to do with education than with the way the kids are raised. If you are raised nurturing, you will tend to pass that on, and this is more important than degrees."
How to win over a sitter

"I'm not just going to sit for any family," said Jessica Bennett, 22, of Boston. "If I'm going to take on a job, chemistry is important. In a sense, you're screening parents," too.
Some suggestions from sitters for making a good impression:

"Ask questions in a more casual way, not an analyzing, non-trusting way," said Mona Simmons, 40, of Belmont.
Don't just ask questions, but also share information about yourself and your family, said Hillary Richard, 21, of Boston.
Look the sitter in the eyes. "Some moms treat you like a thing, not like a person," said Giane Marques, 37, of Malden. "They don't look you in the eyes."
Share your value system. A good sitter is assessing "if their care is in line with what you think," said Bennett. "Everyone has different philosophies for rewards and punishments, timeouts or taking toys away," she said, and it's important to know if the sitter and parent can support each other's values.

© Copyright 2007 The New York Times Company

Special Bulletin: We Moved!

Desperate Househusband has escaped the suburbs!

Stop.

No more car culture.

Stop.

Lots of excitement.

Stop.

Kids and wife loving apartment-living, public transportation, fire engine sirens and semi-urban grit.

But not to worry. ... Desperate Househusband still desperate.